(Explanation here.)

8:00 AM · Breakfast paid for by lobbyists! My Favorite Thing!

9:00 AM · Scapegoating a minority group! My Favorite Thing!

9:30 AM · Kissing Faux News butt! My Favorite Thing!

10:00 AM · Looking for contacts for future lobbying jobs! My Favorite Thing!

10:30 AM · Denying Global Warming! My Favorite Thing!

10:45 AM · Saying outlandish things to chase after big campaign checks! My Favorite Thing!

11:00 AM · Cutting services to the middle class and the poor! My Favorite Thing!

11:30 AM · Cutting taxes for rich donors! My Favorite Thing!

11:45 AM · Paying Sarah Palin to speak for me! My Favorite Thing!

12:00 Noon · Lunch and cigars paid for by lobbyists? My Favorite Thing!

1:00 PM · Defending Big Oil and Big Coal! My Favorite Thing!

1:30 PM · Using a prostitute paid for by lobbyists? My Favorite Thing!

2:00 PM · Faking religious piety! My Favorite Thing!

2:30 PM · Sexually Harassing my staffers! My Favorite Thing!

3:00 PM · Drooling over Christian religious extremists! My Favorite Thing!

3:30 PM · Smoking Cuban cigars? My Favorite Thing!

4:00 PM · Insisting on sanctions against Cuba? My Favorite Thing!

4:30 PM · Calling middle class people elitist! My Favorite Thing!

5:00 PM · Dinner and drinks paid for by lobbyists? My Favorite Thing!

Excerpts From a Middle Class American's Diary

Day 14,724 of my captivity...