(Somehow I doubt the fundie was threatening me with an all expenses paid trip to a small town in Michigan. Photo: Danielle Walquist Lynch)

This is quite flattering. A militant, anti American fundamentalist has taken the trouble to damn me to "Hell" in a comment that s/he attempted to put on my blog. The Christian Taliban likes nothing better than to threaten people with eternal suffering.

I should note that I omitted the contact information the fundie included with the comment. I don't want to inadvertently help a ministry. I just want to share a good laugh.

I am less concerned about your tired liberal agenda because I know how it ends, you guys make the world increasing worse until the world finally ends and then you lose......and that is the really sad part. I hate probably everything you stand for but you're running out of time. In case no one else has ever told you, the devil has prepared a place for you that you WILL see if you don't turn to God. I know you don't want to hear that, but it is my job to tell you. I don't want to see anyone end up there, no matter how much I disagree with you. You give yourself credit for being so smart, so do a little research on hell. It is real and you are headed there, please listen to me now. I know you won't post this on your blog and I don't really care, but I PROMISE that you will remember these words either as the words that put you on the path to salvation OR you will remember them while burning in a lake of fire for eternity. Just ponder eternity.....can you even grasp what that means?

Jesus Christ died on a cross to save you from that place, grasp that. Even if you're not sure, why would you want to take a chance on 12,000 degrees coursing though every inch of your body forever? God will never send you to hell, but he does allow you to choose it for yourself and you are choosing it now. Fall on your face RIGHT NOW and ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and live in your heart.

...

Probably won't hear anything (positive) from you, but I hope I do. Good luck & God bless.

There are so many things about this that are amusing. Here are a few.

1) This comment was off topic and old, submitted on a posting about a food author's sellout to corporate power. The post was from 2009.

2) The 12,000 degree figure is weird. The Bible was written thousands of years ago, but the Fahrenheit scale wasn't proposed until 1724, the Centigrade scale in 1744 (which evolved into today's Celsius scale later). What would these "degrees" be based on then? Why 12,000 other than it is a really high number for temperature?

3) The temperature of the surface of the Sun is 9940 F (5505 C). 12,000 degrees must be pretty darned hot. I'm thinking "Hell" should be portrayed as blue rather than red, since the Sun is yellow and "Hell" is hotter than the Sun's surface.

4) Why is it this clown's job to tell me I'm going to "Hell"? Who pays him? Is the money good?

5) Exactly how does one do credible research on "Hell"? The source document, the Bible, doesn't even get the origins of life and the planets correct. It is notorious for being riddled with contradictions.

6) Given that most of the world's potentially catastrophic problems are the result of conservative ideology (Global Warming, nuclear meltdowns, overpopulation, genetically modified food, war, etc.) and the rest are natural phenomena, it is cute and charming that this loser thinks that liberal policies are the danger.

Anyway, the irony in all of this is that there are too many legitimately frightening things in the real world. Why is there any need for religious fear mongering involving outlandish threats of hellfire and damnation anyway?