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What's It Like to Be Bi In America?

Posted by libhom Saturday, February 27, 2010

San Francisco Queer Pride marchers behind banner that says bisexuals

Photo: nerdcoregirl

Being a gay man, I can't really say for sure, but I can point to a comment that I learned a lot from. It was from a post on Stuff Queer People Need to Know about Lady Gaga coming out as bi.

Other bi girl dilemmas I have personally encountered in my bisexual life:

1) Getting fired for coming out bi at work.

2) Hearing about bi girlfriends needing to run from their boyfriends or husbands, who were so intimidated by their girlfriends’bi-ness, they threatened to break their teeth.

3) Being called a “traitor” or “full of diseases” right to my face by lesbian women.

4) Having sleezy straight boys hit on me for three-ways–because that’s why I exist, to make sure they get their three-way.

5) Being told I don’t exist or that I’m “politically irrelevant” by the gay community.

6) Being harassed when I show up with a bi t-shirt or bi button by gays and lesbians at a queer pride rally or parade, even though I’ve gone there to support all LGBTQ.

7) Being told that I “have a sickness” by straight people who see my bi t-shirt or bi button on the way to the gay parade/rally/event.

8) Being told that I am just a “part-timer” by lesbian, gay, or queer-identified people, even though I am bisexual 24/7, no matter who I am dating.

9) Being told by right-wing religious people that I am an even bigger threat to society because I “choose” my sexuality.

10) Having people like Tila Tequila, Rikki and Vikki Ikki, Megan Fox, and Lady Gaga represent bisexuality to the public, with no counter-representation from regular bisexuals who just try to make it in this world.


  1. Laura Says:
  2. As always, a great post. For sure something that we can all learn from.

    It must be very difficult to feel like you are caught between two worlds. Accepted by neither...


  3. Jolly Roger Says:
  4. This is biased, since it only has a woman's point of view. I think we should ask Ted Haggard so we have a "fair and balanced" point of view on being bi and what kind of problems it can create for you. Maybe Larry Craig, too.

  5. Anonymous Says:
  6. It's funny you should mention this. A good friend of mine is bi, dates mainly women but occasionally men, and never tells them he's bi. It's been his personal experience that most women love to discuss how open they are with gay men, but when they find out he's bi, they freak out. Gay men also almost universally reject him as some sort of delusional fool.

    I'm a gay man and I don't really care. I think many more men are bi than people realize, but given the kind of experiences my friend has told me he often goes through, I can't blame bisexuals for often wanting to be discreet.

  7. Oso Says:
  8. Libhom,
    It hadn't occurred to me how a bi person could be caught between two worlds. very good post.



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